If It Ain’t a MAGA-Level Devotion, Ion Want It!

He didn’t cheat. The evidence is just disrespectful.

A blurry photo? Circumstantial.
The same haircut? Coincidence.
The same highly specific tattoo? Lots of people have tattoos.
The one-of-a-kind outfit his girlfriend personally sourced from Milan?

…Okay, now y’all are just reaching.

After his girlfriend commits the ultimate betrayal—believing her own eyes—one wrongfully accused man is forced to reevaluate everything he thought he knew about love.

Clearly, the problem isn’t him.

It’s that modern relationships have become far too dependent on pesky little things like receipts, timestamps, fact-checking, witness verification, and the truth.

So he takes his heartbreak to a higher power with one humble request:

Next time, send him somebody with MAGA-level devotion.

Someone who will defend. Deny. Rebuke. Double down.

Because anybody can love you when the evidence is on your side.

But can she love you when it absolutely, unequivocally, hilariously is not?

If It Ain’t a MAGA-Level Devotion, Ion Want It! is an absurd, unapologetic satire about blind loyalty, weaponized denial, and one man’s search for the kind of love that asks no questions—especially when it really, really should.

Digital short • 11-page PDF • Instant download
Written by Venante Altidor

This is a fictional work of satire.